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Saturday, October 29, 2011

Destitution

Creased forhead, frowning eyebrows, sadness in eyes, shadows under gazes, pale dried lips, clenched jaws, dropped face, husky voice, scrambling thoughts, slouching shoulders and an indifferent numbness in gait. All these are symptoms that appear on the person who's infected with a virus named 'love'. 'Infected' signals he has been struck hard at the wrong place by Cupid. There seems to be no better a word than 'virus' that describes correctly love and its side-effects.
Love is a bliss when ignited from both sides, but a big misfortune when it passes by unreflected at other side. It becomes a huge burden then full of pain, remorse, guilt, disappointment and failure that has to be borne for an unlimited period of life, if unfortunately one's partner turns out to be a 'heartbreaker'. Yes, cheaters are hard to deal with. The knowledge of getting deceived leaves a hole in the middle of the chest that feels like an uncovered wound, which throbs and sends stabbing pain all through the body, whenever the deserted heart misses its vital part. Moreso, holding on the memories, love and the deserter itself make the hole bleed all the time with the soring pain lingering on and on, thereby making the wound go worse.
It was there first. The castles of heart felt occupied leaving no heart-vacancy, it throbbed with never-felt-before exuberancy. And then all of the sudden it was gone, no replacement done. The chamber it occupied has been empty since. The doors are open, but the emptiness inside refuses to flee. Nothingness resides, so stubborn that it repels any thing as minute as petty it may be to fill in. Damage has been done and is still running in degrading mode. Love, as it was, irrevocable & irreversible and so are the after effects now. Wasn't the bereavement enough to deal with, that, stab at my back was more to give way to choking out the very essence of life. What it would be, only a facer, but only if my deserter could have gathered courage to bring the rejection..discontinuation face to face. I am one hundred percent sure that I could lose face calmly, for her..only if the breaker could have retained its dignity to stand up to my eyes in letting out denial
to my loyalties. Fabulous as was the escape, it left me staggered and shattered to the extent, that no more punch and pain can be felt now, emotionally, let alone physically, not even if a dagger is pierced through my heart.
I doubt to myself sometimes, was it my fierce loyalty that inspired such an abrupt phase-out! Was it really important or so..urgent? BUT afterall why all this big Bamboozle?