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Monday, April 25, 2011


“How can a person bear an ardent will to get linked but still could not spare himself grudging for the burdening link???”

I am not a Gypsy, nay! Not a Bohemian too, but undoubtedly the one who acts on free will. Although I love to be surrounded by loving relations, but soon the bogy of deepened attachments bag me down, albeit momentarily. Ever since my actions and behavior have become comprehensible to me, I've noticed but one peculiar trait.

'Tis I did not succeed to rule out in my fourteen palpable years o' life and hope not in the upcoming years too. Strangely, the oddness of this trait as perceived by me bellows much the same as touted by the ones who I came across in life and those too who still remain around me.

Like every human or else creature, I love to be attended, cared for and loved. I find it alluring when someone ask my whereabouts and enquire my wellness. Then why the air of unbearable burden of relations dawns upon me? After responding to some cheerful urgings, what makes them turn out to me the wearisome pertusion? After sensing a sweet ardor from such insistences, why does the feel gets towed to sourness giving way to peevishness and then ultimately turning to avulsion? Since, I don't adorn meanness in my personality, nor is there eccentricity, why my sweet will for attachments upturns 
to a quick detachment then?

The realization of the indifference that grows within me trails behind an insuppressible guilt in my mind and heart.

It has happened many a time to me that my loved ones turn a back to me for this 'separation wall' unknowingly raised by me, which drifts me apart from them. I've no words for reasoning my recluse, which shields me from world albeit for short durations, but leave the ones dear to me quiet disheartened.

How I explain to them that I like to be seen, but soon get bored from immobile gazes. How I describe to them that though being cared for is adored by me, caresses for long do not go un-scorned by me. Moreover, how to find way to say that while to be loved is what I consider lucky, to get saddled by overwhelming love is what I title for having brought disturbing ripples in life.
People find me presumptuously loyal in my relations. To my dear ones, I act as protector and a propellant. Despite for this fierce full trustworthiness and an eye for socialization, a certain reclusive emotion doesn't leave me entirely.

""It makes me wonder for is there a 'hermit' that resides in some corner of my heart.""

'Tis piece of writing showcases my delusive feel, which brings forth one of my darkest secrets not yet unraveled to anyone. But there is more to say...
I profile this draft as an apology and extend to those who have felt ignored, left out and ultimately hurt on account of me.

I say SORRY.... I am SORRY.

                       "'Sumitabh Panchal, This blog is for you'"

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


Being a woman, I know to the very core, what women want of men. I am well aware of the desires, wants, expectations, and hopes howsoever innate it is that a woman sees from her man.

Well, time has changed a lot. The humble, shy and introvert woman has taken the backseat and stands forth an independent, bold, confident and uncompromising woman. Today women are seen more vocal regarding their physical and emotional needs and bluntly, they demand it too. Almost unabashedly, they put it forth in an indispensable and uncompromising way, which serves as an order rather than a suit. Every girl now when dreaming of an eternal love gets clicked with an illusionary figure of a man well-toned bagged with loads of luck and prosperity and adorned with a passionate manhood.
Given the awareness want of a handsome and rich husband carrying a stunning physique for any woman, I wondered what would be a man's choice in the same discipline. I thought of scratching the minds of bold ones and imploring for the answer to my query. So, with the same intention, I drew a survey on face book that was cast only for male department, popped up questions to my male
friends and queried certain acquaintances too.
Given the awareness want of a handsome and rich husband carrying a stunning physique for any woman, I wondered what would be a man's choice in the same discipline. I thought of scratching the minds of bold ones and imploring for the answer to my query. So, with the same intention, I drew a survey on face book that was cast only for male department, popped up questions to my male
friends and queried certain acquaintances too.

The survey contained a simple, straight question to men that what do they prefer to have by their sides (uh! It means, "Partner") should it be fleshy tone or a skinny lass... Over 2-3 weeks, the survey continued and then data assimilation ensued. It took me by amazement that men really do gossip about women, as contrary to what I used to think that they don't bother for the same. Anyways, the survey went rocking and heaped in a mass of response. Some posted comments, while some sent messages and there were yet others, who preferred to call and give in their assumptions and preferences. Surprisingly, I found men outspoken when I questioned them in face about their say on the fairer sex. Howsoever, this so-called survey acted as Pandora box, which brought to me distinct revelations, cleared some misunderstanding and at last helped me come out with a rather good topic to write a blog on. Among the innumerable responses the survey drew, I would like to mark
certain phrases here stated by men. Here we go-
An African high school student, Derrick Antwi Asamoah winks, "skinny lass" and dreams, "their shape is amazing and beyond imagination". Hmm! truly sounds akin to William Wordsworth and quite so is in-real. In a similar tone, opines Derrick Gaisie, an engineering student of Cambridge College, who says, "slim-inviting shapy type ladies". Not bad, foreigners seem to be addicted to skeleton model or the being with weaning amount of flesh on. Mounting the same perspective, Robertson, USA based dentist, who recently called quits with her 2-months old fatso girlfriend waits for a lean lassie.

While I kept getting such response, I worried for myself that I might need to loose off some more calories and expose some bones on varied parts of my body. But soon, there came a breakthrough. Delhi based Ankit Saxena treads the middle path and says, "...depends on different man". Further, he coyly states, "men can compromise with it as per circumstances'. Being a close friend, I can really rely on the statement. On the other hand, a passionate guitarist, Satyam Neel pops out the term 'Voluptuous' and next he quotes, 'slim lady with fat assets', while leaving on me to categorize his choice. I guess the one with a raunchy figure that too with handy annexure.

There are yet others, who wish to rove their hands over padded assets and love fat figures. I extracted the thought from confession of Gaurav Malhotra, CA student, who opts for,’ bulky proportions, with alluring curves'. Great! The accountant student harbors a sensuous wish in his reverie.
So, we see that men like women have their own set of preferences when it comes for choosing their partners. But, we do forget that appearance be it shape of body or beauty of skin, rugs over time and what keeps holding the essence of love is person's heart and soul. So, guys peep into the soul of the person you choose for life rather than going bowled over by white skin.


I always wonder why do I repeatedly end up in reeling down my relations and friendships with women, regardless of the time and emotions consumed to build it up?? Whereas with men, it goes on and on flourishing over time and turning into profound and impeccable bonds.

In order to cite the reason, I traveled down the memory lanes to the times of my childhood, when I was a tad. Surprisingly, there I found myself getting caught and crushed in clamorous collisions among my girl friends. In my school days too, I would get sulked by break ups in friendships with my female colleagues. On the contrary, get cherished with bubbles of laughter by hearing to the jokes cracked to cheer me up, by my male colleagues. Howsoever, on returning home covering all these nitty routines, thanks to God, there would be my mom, who would always relieve me by asking to parry all these annoyances and continue living this life zestfully.

Thus finding no reasons in my past, for this incessant collisions and incompatibility with my female friends, I thought to look out for answers. I discussed it with some strangers (both males and females) and found that this perplexing issue is known to almost everyone. Further, on enlarging my research scope, what I ruled out was- that this bewildering equation governs the society and the world. Here, in this blog, I profile the information, as the result of envisage:-

Though the fact is in that human has become more toxic and complex as compared to earlier times. Similarly, the truth that in this bustling world, finding a person ready to lend his or her ear to somebody's problems or for just a short chat is impossible, is not hard to believe. Nobody has gotten a second to halt and look back at someone's doleful state. But, what comes out to be a truly revealing shock is that- Is male-male bond stronger and lasting or a female-female bond an everlasting one? Well, I vote for the former! And have a lot of considerable facts and reasons for proving my stance.

Though a stern believer of female power, I am equally attracted to masculine affluence. But, I wonder at why a female always poses as an opponent to another female, who might be aware or might not be, of the rustling competition simmering between them. Why there is a minimized comfort level among women? Every time, why does a girl get an arousal of style consciousness, on coming across the same gender? While traveling in a metro in women reserved coach, I view the girls, even the middle age ladies rovering their eyes on others from top to bottom and vice versa. My head goes crooked to find out the reason what does it mean to them, does it give them a feel of superiority in class or a queer sense of aristocracy!! So, to avert such irk feel, I prefer to travel in non-reserved coaches, where u are at least free from style equalizing and class matching gazes. It’s not the talk of outer world only; even you will find it in your friends' circle. In female
group, jealousy and envy start simmering at just a wink, while in the men’s world, it occurs only when another man steps into the guarded arena of a man's love interest or when his ego might be hurt.

Where the world is celebrating the uproar of women empowerment, there is certainly a fraction of women who been trodden upon in every sphere of life. Well, this blog does not outline them. I'll certainly compose one entirely dedicated to them, their worsening situation and devise proper and pertinent methods to uplift them.

Moreover, working under a female superior in corporate doesn't seem to be an easy task. Certainly, I've come across many superiors, who have had though already gotten an edge over me, didn't even spare to down trod me and exploit my mental peace & state of balance. But, yeh! Since from, for now and forever I have overcome all the hurdles, to the extent of rendering my weakness into areas of non-interest, which earlier gave these people chance to encroach and have an upper hand in every thing. Even, men find it hard to stand up to such alpha women as their beliefs, ways of living, attitudes, egos, tolerance levels and mannerisms are miles apart what an ideal woman or a female should be!!!

Whatsoever, for a woman, it is always difficult to strike a strong bond and a balance in relation with another woman. Nonetheless, as they say, rare are always there in every case and situation. There are relations, friendships, bonds of trust and dependence, which exist amongst women.

It gives me happiness and a sense of prided feminism, whenever I see girls cuddling up and laughing together. I would really appreciate the rare cases in this phenomena and revere the ones who stand against all the odds and tides of rough moments and live up to a fulfilling & healthy relationship.