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Thursday, December 15, 2011

Denial!

While in courtship, love & romance take on different notes. Sometimes they bring on elation and invite adernaline rush while at other times they drain out all signs of pleasure and leave the lovers love-lorn. Then 'tis the time lowliness takes over, howls the tide of emotions that reaches zenith just to touch nadir next. Sometimes the love-sick instance transforms the jilted one into a poet, an amazing juggler of words. Same happens with Rose, who in the memory of Bhagya (Lucky) composes the following verses:-
DENIAL
Years of patience with loads of hopes,
Days pass by as she just dotes!
I'm drowning in a surge of emotions,
There she sat, setting my heart in motions!
Glimpses of her make time flies,
Why 'tis so then, she denies?
I followed her one golden afternoon,
My mind oblivious, 'tis a bane or boon!
She turns and there I reveal,
How so deeply, for her I feel!
She gazes, questions unsolved in her eyes,
Why 'tis so then, she denies?
It goes so, now hath come a time,
I wait for her, and act on mime!
Though neuron single knows she not mine,
But 'tis the heart that doesn't stop on pine!
No dearth there lies, dare not she defies,
Why 'tis so then, she denies?
Moment comes and she sits by my side,
Helpless heart, pounding over the tide!
Wonder I, wait I, occur a haphazard,
Fearing o'quirk, swore, niver I desert!
No doubt then lingers in her eyes,
Why 'tis so then, she denies?

Monday, December 5, 2011

Puerile Mess


'tis difficult with you, 'tis impossible without you.
But, 'tis an ease to unravel before you!
Can say beyond friendship, can't see love in grip.
But, I would - A blend in rip!
Chemistry is innate, bond so insensate.
Naught be it, passion gravitate!
Glance, a perplex, makes emotions go wax.
'twill be no more, o' my heart, be relax!
Emotions get twirl, feelings go whirl.
Thanks heaven, bodies ain't in curl!
Resign; tried I a-lot, everytime did, 'tcalled a-shot.
Resolve; heaven or hell, wilt I trot!
Hope I nary, since result can vary.
Hither I leave with, unsolved a query!!!

Emotional Ravings


Mind and heart were not on same road that's why intuition scrambled,
and so the first time we talked, I thought you just babbled.
It was gone in a flick of second,
since your talk was so blatant.
But, somehow words stayed on,
and my heart played on.
Might that be the reason, I'm here,
in for life, with you so near.
Promise has been done and there's no backing away,
words as engraved they are 'twill be like no emotions sway.
'twas hard to commit for a reason, unseen,
but, it became the very reason that kept me, nay, keen.
I'd never taste such a blend,
with no broken promises to mend.
Had you not been there, to hold me tight,
even though many a time, I wasn't so, right.
So. Here I say to you, 'thank you', for bearing,
me, my flickering moods and gale words, 'tmust have served you irrevocable tearing.
Though I see, on your part, don't expect any forwarding action,
as if I needed every bit of that fraction.
Wait, howsoever prolong it may get,
for I refuse to make my decision shed.
Ahh! It was just to remind you that oath,
am in for life, amazingly which I don't loathe.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Tefillah - A Prayer

I hate being in trade. Do you hear?
I hate bargaining.. I hate replacement.. Do you know?
I don't like to be in arguments. I evade from upsetting others. Are you aware?
I am falling in love with pain and desolation. Hardships seem to cross over me. Do you have even an inkling of that?
I am diving in sea of tears. Nothingness is going to swallow me in or I am going to gorge nothingness. Are you informed?
It feels I can hear you, touch you, see you and feel you, but it doesn't seem real. Are you elusive?
I am not dreaming with eyes open. I am not touching with hands vacant. Then, why does it say, real?
They say I look lone and I walk alone. Why then I see the twain?
Tell me you are real, if you could speak!
Show me you are tangible, if you could touch!
'Xplain me u're not a dream, if you couldn't evade!
...and then,
I will believe with the utmost belief,
that you exist.
If...and only if...
You prove me a fere!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

My Love, I Beseech Thee!

Excerpted from my untitled novel, this, I post the final draft of one of the love letters written by Rose in regard to Lucky and composed by me. Names of the characters are sure to leave you in tizzy. I'm sure you'll get gender-confused.
My Love, I Beseech Thee!
Thou hast maketh me complete,
Such is thy love for me that makes me overwhelm.
Thou hast maketh me unassailable,
Such is thy faith in me that auguments my strength.
Thou hast maketh me delectable,
Such is thy mesmerism over me that enthrals my very soul.
Thou hast maketh me meritorious,
Such is thy merit that exceeds what I ought to deserve.
Thou hast maketh me majestic,
Such is thy devotion unto my love that transforms me all the more imperative.
Thou hast maketh me impassioned,
Such is thy eroticism that urges me delve in you deeper and deeper.
Huzzah!
Thou dost hast nary an inkling of coveting thine man.
Aye, I shalt surrender thee, thine singularity that doth play naught, but charm and seduction unto me.
Thou appeal me Lady,
Prithee, wilt thou be my wife?
Shalt the mama o'my babies be thee??
-Rose

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Collision

 Throttling Morals or Veiled Allurements
Squelching Principles or Eluding Inducements
Smothering Conventions or One-off Baits
What eff you choose former? And what eff you choose latter? No-matter you choose any, you are bound to get collided to a tricky terrain or else a thorny turf...
It's hard when life comes up with a choice that's more and more baffling, which thwarts every attempt u make towards moulding it in ur own way and keeps on compelling u pick one & leave another. Yes, it's real hard.,almost unlooking-for, unbridled & unavoidable. Evenif u succeed in picking one and feel good and certain about it, the choice poses as an unassailable war thereby making u all the way more miserable.
Think about the sweet appealing 'things' that foil the very principles u regard very high and abide by in ur life, and now place both on a single platform and name the set 'choose one'. So, this is the deadlock life offers me every now and then, difference being variety in situations, circumstances and height of appeal. Those things that bring glimmer in ur eyes and appear to u as 'bliss', sometimes give the impression of 'bigger than life assets', which gradually poison ur mind and drug ur soul making u all the way more addicted to them. When intellect becomes hazy and it becomes staggering for u to take right shot upon right things, when the recklessness clings onto ur mind, and it sticks in the throat, when ur feet don't find the base to stay on and ur hands refuse to find anything strong to hold on, then stick out, on ur core values & beliefs, ur fim faith in just and hold an iron-grasp on ur life's principles that stand out for everything right.
Take ur time and let it stand, until the tide comes to its lowest ebb an finally stays onto stillness. Then think afresh, weigh both the options and search the longevity, don't forget to look for certainity and unless u find it, step out of the meddle and wait for some more time. Try on from different perspective to sort it out. But remember whatever glitters may not be gold, may not be gold and hence may not be right. Only when u become deadly sure about ur choice, tread upon the path. Evenif the journey appears hard and rugged, makes u tiresome and compels u to go back. DON'T!!! Keep going and u'll get ur way, while uncertainity, doubt, fear and mystery shall pass away...

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Revert

 Imagine yourself in a phantasy island, where you landed more by accident than design; you have your every single tool of contemplation namely, 'foresightedness', 'premonition', 'conscious', 'subconscious', 'intuition' and a lot more. Lost in a delusion, you halt a mile away from a seemingly thug and ponder over your contemplation tools, all of which guide you to step forwards; you obey and walk towards the path paved by your guiding stars. By the near end of that path, you realize- you were wrong- you are devastated- you 7 your life spoiled. And yet you think, Revert or Forward!!!
It's hard to believe yourself when the decisions taken in one's conscious mind, firm heart and resolute soul prove utterly wrong. When the drive taken prove to be fatal... When the cause espoused appears partial... When the actions driven by instincts prove utterly unjustified... Then disbelief occurs..in self..those blindly believed instincts seem mere illusions. Trust staggers in self's soul which even shakes up the bond shared with the higher force... The voice which calls out from deep within the heart appears to deceive..and life as whole stands out as mirage.
There has to be an end to this disillusionment!!!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Intuitional Maddening

"It's an impasse! Nothing possibly a solution can come out of this..." I scoffed one morning. Another morning, I woke up from a dream and yelled in surprise "Holy crap, that was just before my eyes. It wasn't a deadlock, my eyes locked around it."
It's unacceptable that one can find a clean way to solve a problem well, more of a standoff in his or her dreams, but surely not unimaginable. I was never aware that so strong will be my intuition and so clear will be my vision. The faith came lately. Till now it has always been a testing, just checking on the things which I would feel much early with that of what would happen later when the flood of emotions would go almost in the lowest ebb. But now it is like, I can make out something meaningful of absurdity, sort out sense of nonsense and even perceive things out of nothing. It has become more of a habit now and I am always on the move, sorting things of substance out of junk. It takes away a lot of capacity, energy and concentration from your system and even sometimes leaves you paralyzed unable to get involved in anything else. But above all, it makes me more and more irrestible, addicted and forever gasping for more. Getting signals from higher
power is a boon, a blessing in disguise given to you since it fortells about the impending incidents, good or bad, happening to you or your dear ones or even people passing by you. But it does bring with it a bunch of an all-consuming passion that exhausts you, guilt and a sense of failure whenever you fail to inform the person-to-be-affected beforehand and an all-time mental awareness and reception, which lingers over you even when you are asleep.
Nonetheless, I owe more than my life to this blessing of God. Being Libran, it is always a complexity for me to strike out a firm decision even of a minor problem, let alone a gridlock, but it's my inner voice only that saves my face every time guiding me the right way with the lamp of wisdom in the lead. This counts as one advantage. There are various occasions in my life when I have had saved people's lives and stopped the havocs from having occured. Also there are many instances when with the help of hard concentration I have read the grief and pain in doomed ones' eyes and gone extra mile to work for their recovery. It has had always been a matter of pleasure, solace and satisfaction whenever I helped, compassioned and even whispered a prayer.
BUT NOW it's engulfing me gradually. Since the moment my boon tools have unraveled to me the spurt of unspoken lies, unseen deceptions, unfelt treachery and undisclosed disdainfulness, it has become a compulsively 2-walled path to tread upon. With one, there's buoyancy, an all-time cheerfulness while with another, it is dolefulness and gloominess, a blanket covering me head to toe. Doing good to others while remaining invisible from the scene certainly brings peace to mind and happiness to heart. In the same way visualising the selfish agendas hidden behind those promises, bitter conceited feelings concealed under those caring tones, a queer blend of jealousy and revenge veiled inside the mask of love and the astonishing mix of gibes and jeers at the back of that assuring voice, undoubtedly bring you the poignant pain which leaves perpetually lingering qualms in mind and heart.
Biggest reality is after a long period of struggle,I've learnt to live in them and die in them. Plus point is- smile & laughter never cease to come to me,that too in an unhesitatingly natural way. So, be it then happiness or sadness,calm & peace are bound to be there. Once there was a time,when I was on the verge of getting swallowed in by darkness and melancholy. But as for now,all revelations are out,thanks to heaven,my eyes could see beyond the sight,so now there would be no concealment,no hidings! I can bear seeing things in their actual essence devoid of any pretension and feeling the true meaning behing the said words even so concealed it may be.

But no more concealed lies, deception and treachery...

Friday, November 11, 2011

Breaking Dawn

"Enough wallowing & sulking. There has to be an end to this..." These words have been told by me to myself for lakhs of time, but to no avail. Wierd enough! Am I really awaiting an end or just elongating the way so as to reach the end late, much late. It was first an air of content light-heartedness & above the world feeling that used to give me pleasing and now, pleasure is known to me only by pain. Aperture in my heart keeps increasing with the searing pain throbbing all through the body. I never had thought of hoping or seeing any break from this thud since this pain had become dear to me, the sole reason of my existence. But then why did the light dawn when there has never been a hope, not the least a faith? Werewolf has descended upon me. Transformatiön has been done. I never wanted this happen to me. I had resolved to cling to my pain like some inseparable cosmic pair. Ah! No, here's a small misunderstanding of mine done on my own. Pain is still
there, the burning fissure is still blazing with all the same flickering flames, which wave along with all my nerves and tendons and the despondency and melancholy are still there. Yes! All my companions are wid me only, either they ain't willing to get apart or I'm fiercely possessive of them. Difference is, pride has crept in.
It's my newly found amourpropre in my haplessness. It got me reminded the reminiscence of my love. My love, while it existed before my eyes was never weak, my emotions, while they played upon my mind were never frail, my senses with which I grasped quick-sight into my courtship were never hazy and the act of having worn my heart on my sleeve was never without the utmost passion and reverence, then why the shoulders beneath dose sleeves have slumped? I'd had then started seranading my 'almost lover' in my newly acquired sensuous style and dang, it went flat. Suitor left, leaving behind my heart, which had by that moment turned into a snaphook and a being, ah! that's me, scorched by what I'd better say, love. Since my love was mellowed with dignity and a deep reverence for my lover, on whom I doted with all my essence, why then should I allow that fragrant mellowness evaporate from my heart and my persona? Love has had never been sans pride and
sublimity, then why must it be withered of dose now? Though seclusion is now dere in place of abundance and will always be there, but I think, it shouldn't affect the serenity which got left wid me, thanks to Mr. Cupid for his wrong blow!
So, from now on, my efforts would be on and on towards uprising those slouching shoulders, building up that hurt ego and blowing some life in my muzzy life. Sweet as the pain of heartache feels, I am not willing yet to neutralise it, but like I used to wear the amour on my head, I'll don the love lorn emotion now on my nerves. Because when grandiose, calmness and sublimity will mix up with the love sick feeling, it will make the pain all the more enjoyable, memorable, adorable and bearable affair.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Destitution

Creased forhead, frowning eyebrows, sadness in eyes, shadows under gazes, pale dried lips, clenched jaws, dropped face, husky voice, scrambling thoughts, slouching shoulders and an indifferent numbness in gait. All these are symptoms that appear on the person who's infected with a virus named 'love'. 'Infected' signals he has been struck hard at the wrong place by Cupid. There seems to be no better a word than 'virus' that describes correctly love and its side-effects.
Love is a bliss when ignited from both sides, but a big misfortune when it passes by unreflected at other side. It becomes a huge burden then full of pain, remorse, guilt, disappointment and failure that has to be borne for an unlimited period of life, if unfortunately one's partner turns out to be a 'heartbreaker'. Yes, cheaters are hard to deal with. The knowledge of getting deceived leaves a hole in the middle of the chest that feels like an uncovered wound, which throbs and sends stabbing pain all through the body, whenever the deserted heart misses its vital part. Moreso, holding on the memories, love and the deserter itself make the hole bleed all the time with the soring pain lingering on and on, thereby making the wound go worse.
It was there first. The castles of heart felt occupied leaving no heart-vacancy, it throbbed with never-felt-before exuberancy. And then all of the sudden it was gone, no replacement done. The chamber it occupied has been empty since. The doors are open, but the emptiness inside refuses to flee. Nothingness resides, so stubborn that it repels any thing as minute as petty it may be to fill in. Damage has been done and is still running in degrading mode. Love, as it was, irrevocable & irreversible and so are the after effects now. Wasn't the bereavement enough to deal with, that, stab at my back was more to give way to choking out the very essence of life. What it would be, only a facer, but only if my deserter could have gathered courage to bring the rejection..discontinuation face to face. I am one hundred percent sure that I could lose face calmly, for her..only if the breaker could have retained its dignity to stand up to my eyes in letting out denial
to my loyalties. Fabulous as was the escape, it left me staggered and shattered to the extent, that no more punch and pain can be felt now, emotionally, let alone physically, not even if a dagger is pierced through my heart.
I doubt to myself sometimes, was it my fierce loyalty that inspired such an abrupt phase-out! Was it really important or so..urgent? BUT afterall why all this big Bamboozle?

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Anna Hazare- A jerk on Corruption


With an ambition of making the system free from corruption, Anna Hazare, the new age crusader has proved to be a hurricane for the govt. Anna is being hailed as the reincarnation of Mahatama Gandhi, for his intentions, conducts and the prudence with which he is striking blow after blow on the govt. reflect the sagacity of a freedom fighter. It's ironical that being a free nation we are still fighting for freedom and struggling to free our land from the chains of corruption which has emasculated the country's governing system. The crusade undertaken by Anna has created a splutter in the country and brought a wave of public uproar against the depraved political system. Common citizens across the city and entire nation and even those living abroad have raised in solidarity with Anna for the good cause that is bound to bring a major upheavel that will twirl the political system in a somersault.
Anna & his supporters untiring efforts caused the proposal of Lokpal Bill get tabled in Parliament. The anti-corruption activists are fighting for the formation of a strong Lokpal Bill that would embrace strict laws to scrutinize the irregularities and conduct probes for erring officials. Lokpal movement initiated by Anna provided sort of grit to the opposition party which led to aspersions, impeachment & contemptuous debates among the political parties. Nonetheless, the veracious freedom fighter along with his team of supporters raised above all and kept the flame of political upheavel burning. No matter, Manmohan Singh formed a core group of his confidantes for concealed delebrations over how to handle Anna and his created uproar. Hazare with his tactful moves brought all their efforts to fail. His determination of uprooting the parasite of corruption from the country's governance system served as a driving force that triggered the nation into an all
pervasive anti-corruption movement. Clearly, the huge and an all-time increasing involvement of people for this novel cause reflects the repugnance exhisting in their hearts regarding this rotten political system.
The only thing needed is a leader, prudent, invincible and veracious who can lead the campaign and stay the land in the midst of the threatening storm- Rest we are with him. Nothing goes unnoticed by our eyes. What all happened during CWG, prior to that & after that is not oblivious to us. By the look of the so-called development works conducted by MCD, PWD and other pvt. contractors, we could contemplate where our paid tax goes. We're quite in know of the epic scams of our country & its diseased political system. Let's call it an ironical tragedy that no one in this huge system is able to keep in hold the important post of 'accountability'.
It's about time we executed our democratic rights inked in our constitution of this democratic country. As of now, since the struggled Lokpal Bill hasn't come into execution, that means the aim isn't being accomplished. Even on its application, our fight doesn't end there. It has to be kept on going till we filter the system of its perverse elements and cure the nation of its epidemic of corruption.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

MCD AT REST



                                                     Cow Stand or Bus Stand


Eh! Wondering, what is this platform? Hey, this is the bus-stand of my area that is lying in tatters. At the back of the unsheltered stand, spreads a huge park, unkempt and eroded which is more a cattle loitering land than a park. This is the bus stand of Paschim Puri which falls amid Paschim Vihar and Punjabi Bagh in the West of Delhi. When the bus stands of Paschim Vihar were given make over by MCD, I thought it's now our area's turn. But by the time trim-trolley could reach Paschim Puri, MCD fell asleep in the midst and has not awaken yet. Can somebody plz beat the drum and wake it up? It's my area, so the drummer should be me first. Right? Yeh, I did, but to my amazement, MCD turned out to be a devil akin to 'Kumbhkaran'. (Don't you know the Ramayana mythology?)
So, out of govt.'s negligence and MCD's sluggishness the roofless bus stand stands here orphaned and uncared for. Nevertheless, the raised brick and concrete plateau serves as a landmark for many who get lost and fail to find a house's address. Since dawn until the late of night, the rugged platform works as the congregation point for the bus travelers where people gather and wait for their buses. The broken bus stand facilitates only two routes- 910 and 567, originating from Saiyeed Gaon and Nangloi respectively. With no seats and shelter, the passengers find it tough and unbearable to stand under searing sun in summers and during heavy downpours. Moreover the platform's upper surface and nearby area is covered with dust, cow dungs, pig faeces and in some way, human excreta too. If you see the snaps more closely, you'll see a wall running at the back of stand which carries patches resulted from repeated urination by men who stop by the bus stand and just pee at the wall.
I once thought what would be the opinion of the people living by this place, so ran a survey asking them their take on the shattered stop and MCD's inaction. Shraddha, a professional fashion designer quips," It's better to ignore the issue, they will know it themselves." "I've other more important works to attend," pat comes the reply of a MNC executive when he is asked to give his comments upon the MCD's incomplete work. While a senior citizen, an ex-service man concludes,"It'd be a painstaking job for old people, so should be done by youngsters only." Strange, but true many of these people resign even from the thinking process and mark it as 'painstaking job'! Alright, so be it, the work is of youngsters. Do the young think about doing it? To know this, I asked many young people and teens, more than half of whom were indulged in their own affairs and declined getting mired in political matters, many chose to ignore, stay mum or just winked away. So inactive was the public response that it almost spoke the cause for govt.'s negligence and MCD's heedlessness.
Everyday the commuters come at the stop and initiate the discussion regarding their woes and MCD's indolence, but by the time their contemplation could concede something they get whisked away by their routed buses. Similarly, old men and women and some govt. employees nearing the age of retirement together confront the issue, but much before than arriving on any conclusion weezingly retire from the problem and the never-ending discussion. Clearly it shows people's connivance which acts as bumper in the way of their promptitude as if there was any.


For all that I'll not tire down either from honing my reporting skills or drawing public attention towards MCD's incompetence. Who knows when it falls on MCD's deafened ears and the work gets accomplished.


Friday, July 22, 2011

Crime and Criminal


Dictionary defines crime as a wicked act or an offence objectionable under law. True! A crime is an activity that comes in conflict with law and deserves the doer to be punished. But the question is- Why it happens? What instigates a person to go on killing spree without caring the result? What incites him to act violently and commit wrong, to the extent of taking one's life?

In this period, we can see various instances of crime prevalent in society namely murder, dacoit, robbery, riot, kidnapping, rape, extortion, snatching, burglary, vehicle theft, counterfeit and many more. Usually many factors can be held accountable for these acts, intense among which are poverty, unemployment, illiteracy etc. With this there are situational factors like revenge, envy, greed, infidelity, rivalry and deceit that work as ignition material for such cognizable deeds. These propellants create ill-will in the mind and nurture bad intent, which further strengthens the determination to harm the person at the other end by doing something that could even cost him his life.
Mother of all evils is anger. It is the anger that makes one blind, vanquishes reason and drives him or her act recklessly ending on something irreparably destructive. It induces a frame of mind, which is devoid of rationality and is targeted upon a sole aim- hurt. About more than half of these misdeeds are said to be performed at the spur of the moment and are the by-product of anger, while rest are pre-planned.
Often we blame on government's heedlessness or call for Police Department's laxity as the main causes for accumulation of crime in society. But, don't you think somewhere down the line, it is we, the people, who are responsible for such a spate of ill-will activities.
Even if in order to curb crime, government enacts its fully fledged anti-crime strategies across all sections of society and Police tightens patrolling and scrutiny over all the sensitive areas and applies fool-proof safety rules, it won't help much except a bit reduction in criminal activities and so has happened. With the collaborated efforts of government and Police Department and as depicted by the figures in the half yearly statistical report, a considerable percentage of crime has undergone a marginal decline. Tightened surveillance, new improvised rules and regulation, effective policies, result oriented strategies, immediate action following any complaint are some of the effective measures adopted by Police Department that paid dividends and helped suppressing the crime in Delhi city to a greater extent. But still, the capital is living under terror with theft, rape, robbery, snatching, fraud incidents being always rampant. Delhi, the capital of India is counted as the most unsafe city for women in the country. Not only at night but in the broad daylight too, women of Delhi are not safe but under the watchful eyes of perverts hidden under the garbs of goodness.

Most of us blame poverty, unemployment and illiteracy for the incessant crime rate in society. Reflecting upon the profiles of criminals, this speculation too shatters on ground as it’s not only poor, unemployed and unlettered who make the offence, but the rich, high earners and highly educated people who are fully involved in breaking law. Various instances are out there when the educated persons and the ones at good job earning 5-figures salaries in lure of earning large bucks in an easier and faster way have adopted illegal methods, which end on crimes like robbery, bankrupts, vehicle thefts, fudges and extortions. Similarly individuals from well-to-do families are found embroiled in offences which are otherwise said to be poor's right to do.
Moreover now not only adults but minors too are not backing from pressing upon the trigger. To much amazement of law keepers, more and more juveniles are getting caught doing cognizable activities. This unusual pattern unprecedented in crime world has nearly stupefied the Judges and Police officials. Not liable for jail terms, court Judges find it really tough to bring them to punishment since sending these minors to observation houses do not serve a lesson enough for them. Children, who have lost the sense of purpose and direction in life, succumb to unlawful activities and start dogging immoral ways. Such young defaulters need to be inculcated with life's essence, true meaning and essential values. And this responsibility of leading them on good path lies with adults.
Its 21st century and we as the modern generation are witnessing discoveries, growth and progress in manifolds. It’s an irony that like the many innovations and developments ongoing all around us, human with the creative bend of all around us, human with the creative bend of their minds have introduced numerous of innovatory ways of ending one's life and later of even disposing off the body. The government, Police and the military forces can't guard our land, unless and until we are ready to be its guard. If we the citizens are committed on breaking the laws of our country, then no legislative authority can promise to make it. Nothing can prevent us from flouting the rules, if we are not checked by our own moral values. If our rational is in deep sleep, then no preacher in this world can awaken us to consciousness. No leader could lead us to walk on good path, if we are bound to tread the bad way.
As much responsible is the governance system for the country's security as we, the citizens of this country. To bring order and peace in country, its citizens first need to imbibe order in them. To prevent any occurrence of crime, one need to suppress the very root causes of crime- anger and ill-will. Agitation invokes harbor of ill-will, which if not suppressed leads to law breaking activities. Therefore to avoid this situation, we need to control our streak of anger and bring an inner calm that has the power of pacifying the tide of anger and flow away its ill effects.

Start practicing today. Do meditation and learn controlling your anger. Cleanse your body and your mind off all the bad intents, wishes and thoughts. Bring calm within yourself and stay in peace, with violence at bay.

Time To Break Passivity

People say it’s tough to laugh if you are inured to tears...it’s impossible to walk after falling in abyss...it’s hopeless to go to zenith when you have touched the nadir!!... Huh! Obsolete as they are..It’s high time you changed those assertions...
Few months of life seems over an age. Yes! It’s been an age, a long period of subjugation, a time suspended with failures and setbacks. Though a period of 3-4 months, it was an era of experiences that counted several downfalls; rip offs and plan crashing instances. With this there were moments when things came out of mist; thought transition took place, while one thing quashed another rose. Overall the time for me branded itself a coming-of-age moment, albeit longer than a moment. 

The most important thing for me in life is my career which is in lurch. Long back luck had smiled upon me and I got a stable job with a media company which was full of delights- desired work profile, doting seniors, lucrative package, posh location and what not. As longer it took me to settle there, the sooner it wiped off my life. For some reasons it was gone leaving me speechless and helpless. For some time I remorsed upon the loss, sometimes even thought of reversing the time-gear and catching hold of the opportunity which slipped off my hands like sand. It was not before too long that I realized- let bygones be bygones- and swallowed in the loss. Not a bit I was aware that the time yet to come is going to bring a tide of losses, breakdowns and failures which will at one moment even perish the peace of my mind and drag me to nadir. Perhaps bad luck had had decided to burst upon my stars and shatter me completely. And soon jinxes and cussedness befell on me blocking my life from every success and happiness. Added to failures and losses, there happened disappointments on the very assumptions that I had asserted on my whole life and with it came austerity against those beliefs. Yet to this moment, one thing was striking and that was my passivity- a quiet submission to destiny which as far showed only misfortune. All what happened to me was in sync with my persuasiveness. I hadn't the courage to raise my stooping shoulders, bring smile on face and contradict the destiny's play.

People say I've changed them. Yes! I believe, I've touched the lives and transformed them forever. I know, I've been a major impetus behind the transitions in several beings many of whom were strangers to me. In the life lived as far I've dragged many out of the reigns of utter darkness to enlightenment. And today I can't believe that my own destiny changed me and reverted the whole of my thought process. I stand here now all transformed, merged within myself, with happiness not felt ever and contentment never realized before. I feel a rebellious spirit inside of me ready to take flight, break away all bounds & ties, shatter the impasse and revolt against the evil luck.
This I say a hard won victory in my life since I came out unrivalled with a feel of triumph despite losing everything. Till this moment I'd always remained ready to get ended, destructed and butchered at the hands of the devil named as 'misfortune'. But now I pose up myself before it imperishable as I am from now and forever.

A challenge thrown in-face of evil luck, a game played and a coin tossed. Now, will it be a win or a loose, depends! But overall the fight with destiny would rather be fun, enjoyable enough to get me entertained!!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

'F' is for Faith - 'G' is for God - 'H' is for Hope

 Every situation or incidence has its pros and cons. Whenever an incident happens to us or when we fall into any situation; it leaves an impact on us and give us an experience to feel. Now, it depends on our disposition, whether we allow these events affect us in a positive way or negative way and count the experience good or bad. Well, if u go by positive way, it will go happily and end smoothly. But, what if u choose negative attitude? If u are prone to falling victim to negative and loose hope, then here is the blog u need to read:-
When things preplanned don't work accordingly and turn out to be the contrary of what had been expected, we see for something to hold onto and that something is positivity. Staying positive through hard times is hard and maintaining a prolonged positive outlook is really difficult. Further things start falling apart and life goes awry and soon it all becomes a chaos. Wasting no time, positivity there goes for a toss. Where it was earlier a positive outlook, an expectation for positive outcome of our dear planning, a slight uncertainty creeps in there. We start doubting our own plans and actions taken for realizing those plans. In the time to come, we think hundredth of times before drawing the final draft of our plans and adopt the craftiest of our actions to perform those carefully analyzed plans. To the least of our expectation, the plan fails, again. But, since being a devotee of positivity, we deny losing heart and buckle up for an intense struggle. Keeping in mind some organized strategies; we look out for possible loopholes in the way the planning has been done. Now once more, mustering courage and enthusiasm, we go on with all the thinking, planning and executing processes. After successive failures, we begin to realize that something is in work at the back of these falls. Plans being watered upon repeatedly with no reasons to put forth show clearly that destiny is in the backdrop of these breakdowns. Further, circumstances build up which instead of bringing relief, pave way for more crackups.







Along with circumstances certain occurrences, coincidences and situations link up together to give in some major disruptions that lead to nervous collapse, leaving us with paralyzing helplessness. This is called 'Nadir', the point of greatest depression, when we are left with the feel of utter dejection, abandonment and helplessness. Beyond Nadir, there is a movement downwards which leads to decay of consciousness and ultimately declension, both mind and body. 



But with effort and perseverance, we can turn around the tables and avert the breakdown. It requires a little patience and the nadir can be turned into turning point of our life, a coming of age. We need to see the flip-side of this nadir and that could be done only if the person has hope in his eyes, faith in heart and belief in God.

When everything goes awry, fades away and ends away, there has to be something that keeps the flame burning and there comes the trios- Faith, God and Hope- 'Faith in goodness' ; 'Belief in God' and 'Hope for the best'.

 These eternal values unite into one, forming the power of Phoenix, which resuscitates and awakens the shattered from its ashes.


Life is never easy, it has its ups and downs and highs and lows. Retaining positivity and an expectation for good through tough times is very hard, but not impossible. It takes time to overcome the pain and loss, to form complete trust and strong belief in self and in God, the omnipotent, who is all encompassing. When it happens, we form an inner power and strength to endure several trials and persecutions and to break any impasse. Only a belief, a vision is needed to foresee that circumstances in the future will be better. And when the belief or vision is attained, forbearance and contentment come naturally to us and even the rugged path of life seems like bed of roses.

Stay positive and lead a happy journey through thick and thin times of life. Good luck!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Crooking A Spoilt Brat



"After a span of doting & fondling, there came out at last an eruption of disgust & distrust and he got beaten like a dog left loose. Instead of developing a feel of angst & enmity, it amazingly evoked a sense of responsibility on self with a bit of maturity & a tinge of fear coupled with respect for the man, who beated him mercilessly."


My father who has an army background with a nation service of 13 years now works and lives in Haryana, Karnal. Four years younger to me, my brother stayed with Daddy at his place and after passing High School returned to capital to stay with Mommy & me. It has been now complete one year since he returned home and with it, a year of his continuously increasing insolence. It had stretched to such a limit that me & my Bro couldn't see each other eye to eye. More so I had sworn never in my life talk to him and even cursed him not to get a sister's love until he lives. Things had turned so weary or rather we had grown so tired to put it all under one roof that we decided to give a call to hell.
Dad gave a nod to Mom of his coming home and asked her to stay mum unless Bro comes to know & flee. What had been anticipated exactly at 5 in the evening, Daddy came to Bro's shock! As the clock ticked 5:15 pm, ensued duel between the duos with Mom posing as 'consolidator' and me as an 'on-looker'. The fight rather termed a horrendous beating proved burden on Bro and he got a rocking taste of Daddy's army trained iron knuckles & manly grip. Most of time while beating continued, my father was above Bro pumping punches on him, effortlessly. Young untrained boxer, rather call a victim was just helplessly rolling in a somersault with invisible & invincible kicks, punches, pokes, drags jotting in on him from all sides.
When it became unbearable for the young boxer to make way for hard thuds inflicted by jumbo boxer, Mom came in the picture and compounded. Further I did the job of 'comforter' bringing refreshments like cool water to drink and fanning the exhausted boxers.
On seeing my brother having beaten black and blue, I'd an in-grown fear that he'll bear a grudge for Daddy or rather a vindictive rage waiting to burst. But what's this? Instead, he developed deference for Dad while showing a white feather to him. Quietly submitting to Daddy's brutal but enamored whipping, he brushed aside his impudence completely.
What it took to subdue a vile spirit was just a moment of overturning torture of ugly kicks, poky punches and bouncy drags. Had we adopted such tenacious tract before, the bloody mayhem would have been ended much earlier.

Huh! Never mind... As adage goes- Its better late than never!

I earnestly hope it always to remain a bygone...



Compelling Supernatural'istic

"10Dec, Sunday, 2006- The day, at length, arrived and was to be remembered for the whole of my life. Incidents that took place on this day changed me and my ideology completely. Just as the modern generation, I was quite oblivious to occult science, which counts on supernatural phenomenon. Although bearing penchant for spirituality, I used to think it quite annoying and trifling that beyond human there exists a thing called 'inhuman', which surpasses the conscious mind & bare eyes. The horrible occurrence of 10Dec, 06 turned my stern disbelief into deep unshakable faith in 'nature' & 'beyond nature'."

Here I forward you an elaborate descript of what took place before my eyes in the presence of my alarmed senses & led to my instant transformation:-


It was the coldest month of year, 2006 and coldest day of month, December. The alarm clock atop the dressing table crackled with a demonic laugh and got me digs both my ears with index fingers. I popped open left eye and punched a fist at the stop button. The clock flashed 04:30 AM. Damn it! What the heck? Its 04:30! Where's the child?? Where are the people and where's that shabby looking priest?? I muttered bewilderingly to myself and jumped on my bed. Oh! So is it? I realized then that it was all in dream, but a real horribly pathetic dream. I dreamt of a sweet blond boy with deep blue eyes playing with a red color ball in a vast plain ground so full of greenery. Few minutes later, weather changes, dark clouds come hovering the sky and one giant black cloud bursts suddenly. The boy gets struck with with lightening produced out of the ripped cloud, pierces him in heart and kills him at the very moment.




Next, I see an Indian man with a brunette wife carrying the dead child and wailing at his death. In the presence of a large assembly of people, the child is burned in the crematorium with ritualistic native chanting by a shaggy looking bearded priest wearing torn out pajamas. It seemed to me as if I've had been both mentally as well as physically present beside the mourning couple and the jeremiad happening before my eyes.

Though it did leave an ire feeling on me, but I shrugged it off soon. I stretched my hand towards the light switch and clicked it, but it didn't turn on. Wondering in dark, I recounted the MCD Worker's words that electricity won't be available till noon. Reluctantly, I dragged off my bed to start my routine work- getting ready for office. At 05:30, I was standing at the pick-up point, waiting for cab. It was an unusual dreary morning with quiet spine chilling cold. The sloppy lane ahead indicated it was a stormy night with heavy rain, might be a hailstorm, which had caused a huge electric breakdown.





While waiting for my pick up, a lackey donning a bamboo cane caught my attention. His limping and hyena like gait created certain unease in me and for a moment, I forgot to exhale out. The crush came in when all of a sudden his one-eyed gaze met mine and the lightening in the sky seemed to pierce my heart. I noticed that his right leg was completely chopped off, but the left one, which he was oddly dragging with the support of bamboo cane, happened to be waiting impatiently to fall out of his groins. Few minutes past the spooky ass was gone leaving a stir that had caused due to his dark voracious look and was unlikely to leave my heart. Seconds later, cab arrived and I was whisked away. Within 10 min, we got dropped near our office




Dammed! Its Sunday..!! I counted with frustration and learned that Sundays, lifts are not functional. Our office was on 7th floor of the building. The place, District Centre is quite a jig for loiterers with so many eateries around and an all-time hit Satyam Multiplex. With it, its famously called 'Suicide Point' for estranged lovers, who after getting a broken heart would come here, mount on the roof of buildings, shed bucket-full tears and after taking an oath of their love, take a dive- sheew!!..Direct to hell. Since, people who suicide commit a sin and are bound to mark their presence before deity, Yamraaj.


That day, the entire buildings and the whole DC happened to be sunk in devilish gloom. It was all dark everywhere, so insipid, never seen before. The employers who deboarded the bus quickly rushed to the building and within a moment I was left there alone, among the dreariness. On seeing 'THE DIPPER' far above in the sky with no star in its proximity, I felt relieved somehow and walked towards the building




. I faced the closed and un-operational lifts, then suddenly got reminded of the construction's backstairs, which were said to be an easier and quicker access to any floor rather than front stairs  though a bit murkier than the latter. In order to cutoff the time, I decided to go the odd way and after mustering enough courage diverted to the prohibited way. The flight of stairs was really awkward, spiral in form with extra wide spaces in sequence. A single window with pin-up opaque glass panes was immured on wall on every floor entry. The heightening square steps were slippery due to the preceding nine hours of uninterrupted heavy rain in the area. Being tunneled through in the rear part of the building, these spiral stairs were notoriously famous for their unluckiness. Its walls were termed eaves-dropper and the journey through them said to be an ill-omened way to hell.






>The Spooky Journey<

Just from the ground floor, it's started transmitting a queer move. With extreme carefulness, I started trotting the way to hell. In the backdrop of dark and foggy surrounding, I reached first floor. Before passing that floor, an out of sorts humming stung my ear. It was a tune, never heard before and a pungent feel raised in me. I remembered and ensured myself again and again that until 10:00 am not a single office opens and moreover, as it was Sunday, so this must be something otherwise. I hurried to cross the floor and come on second floor. Here something stranger 
was awaiting me.

I heard a peeping sound and abruptly spared myself from walking over a fluttering mouse. Switching on the mobile phone borrowed from my brother, I flashed light on the body lying on my way and what I saw nearly took my breath away. The tiny creature was lying on his back wincing with pain with his stomach torn in the whole, intestines strewn out and blood smeared around on the floor, as if an autopsy had been done on him. He was piteously throbbing for life and after hanging between life & death for few minutes, succumbed to death. Seeing a creature dying before one's eyes is not just grieving but disheartening also is something that I realized on that day. Yes! Its really heart-breakening and unbearable for me, if I see some living being die before my eyes. It leaves me with a paralyzing helplessness and frustrating angst.
'Low Battery' signal beep of my cell alarmed me and soon off it went. Prancing on my feet, I rushed towards stairs. A few steps more and I was about to access three floor. But I forgot that bad luck is a thing that does not depart so easily and so soon.

I got interrupted by some hoarse sound that was apparently emanating from the corridor of third floor. It was deeply stinging and sounded as if someone is heaving sighs in sheer pain. I tried to locate the reason and roved eyes searchingly in the corridor's direction, but in vain since it was still dark everywhere. Failing in my attempt of spotting something or someone, I began presuming it just to be an illusion. But soon that assumption failed and the painful sighs started becoming louder and louder as if the thing would be rushing towards me. Shivering in fear, my heart was thumping against my chest and I was all wet with sweat. Reflecting upon the previously seen torn mouse who died gasping for life, Ithought that here might be someone in dire need of help. I mustered courage and took two steps down the stairs. By now, the sighs, which showed pain suddenly, started puffing rage and hurriedly, I retreated my steps. But, much before I could back away, all of a sudden something arrested my hand that sent shock waves down my frame.  


The sight of my wrist being caught in a grip invisible to eyes was more than enough to give me a painstaking heart-attack. While coming to know the aspect of that touch, I tried hard to get my hand released but in vain. Instead it started grasping me tighter and mightier and with it my struggle grew more intense. Now only one word was echoing within me- 'Ghost' and all the spooky stories and movies came haunting me. In quick succession the rapid fire queer incidents that were happening to me since morning zoomed before my eyes. As much attempts I made to free myself from that trap, as I attempted to cry for help. But what's this? No voice was coming out of my throat! I trembled fearing that I've almost lost my voice. Gradually, I realized that it wouldn't be possible for me to pursue my strife since I was completely strained of energy. As I was about to faint, the grip suddenly loosened on my wrist. My voice came back and I panted, regained my balance and stumblingly climbed the stairs and was on 4th floor.




There was light on the floor and I knew that cafeteria has opened. I rushed towards the room and almost breathless heaped heavily on a corner chair. Luckily, there was no one to notice me, so I heaved a sigh, folded my hands and thanked God for such a dangerous, narrow squeak. After absorbing the shock and gaining equilibrium, I pondered over the events that happened to me within this span of 2-hrs.
I cursed myself for not having recognized the forewarning, which I had been getting since dawn like the early morning dreadful dream of a child's cremation, sight of a lame and one-eyed man and autopsy on a living being. It was hard for me to believe that such awkward series of events occurred with me and yet were so unforgettable that they almost pierced me in heart. Feared from being sneered at, I decided to keep the affair under wraps and never tell anybody in life.


Now four years past that incident, something occult hit me and got me relive that experience. Following which I chose to pen down the whole shudder and here the anecdote reads.

Monday, April 25, 2011

A WISH TO BE BOUND!!! YET UNBOUND......



“How can a person bear an ardent will to get linked but still could not spare himself grudging for the burdening link???”







I am not a Gypsy, nay! Not a Bohemian too, but undoubtedly the one who acts on free will. Although I love to be surrounded by loving relations, but soon the bogy of deepened attachments bag me down, albeit momentarily. Ever since my actions and behavior have become comprehensible to me, I've noticed but one peculiar trait.


'Tis I did not succeed to rule out in my fourteen palpable years o' life and hope not in the upcoming years too. Strangely, the oddness of this trait as perceived by me bellows much the same as touted by the ones who I came across in life and those too who still remain around me.

Like every human or else creature, I love to be attended, cared for and loved. I find it alluring when someone ask my whereabouts and enquire my wellness. Then why the air of unbearable burden of relations dawns upon me? After responding to some cheerful urgings, what makes them turn out to me the wearisome pertusion? After sensing a sweet ardor from such insistences, why does the feel gets towed to sourness giving way to peevishness and then ultimately turning to avulsion? Since, I don't adorn meanness in my personality, nor is there eccentricity, why my sweet will for attachments upturns 
to a quick detachment then?



The realization of the indifference that grows within me trails behind an insuppressible guilt in my mind and heart.

It has happened many a time to me that my loved ones turn a back to me for this 'separation wall' unknowingly raised by me, which drifts me apart from them. I've no words for reasoning my recluse, which shields me from world albeit for short durations, but leave the ones dear to me quiet disheartened.


How I explain to them that I like to be seen, but soon get bored from immobile gazes. How I describe to them that though being cared for is adored by me, caresses for long do not go un-scorned by me. Moreover, how to find way to say that while to be loved is what I consider lucky, to get saddled by overwhelming love is what I title for having brought disturbing ripples in life.
People find me presumptuously loyal in my relations. To my dear ones, I act as protector and a propellant. Despite for this fierce full trustworthiness and an eye for socialization, a certain reclusive emotion doesn't leave me entirely.







""It makes me wonder for is there a 'hermit' that resides in some corner of my heart.""





'Tis piece of writing showcases my delusive feel, which brings forth one of my darkest secrets not yet unraveled to anyone. But there is more to say...
I profile this draft as an apology and extend to those who have felt ignored, left out and ultimately hurt on account of me.

I say SORRY.... I am SORRY.






                       "'Sumitabh Panchal, This blog is for you'"